Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
