She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
