tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
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It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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