Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
