? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
