It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize