Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize