are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
