I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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