I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
