Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
