threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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