Whod you bang
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
