He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
