Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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