So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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