don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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