is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
