I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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