if you like me you must not know who I am
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
