made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize