its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
