Sry I called you an 8
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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