I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
