its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You are the jesus of drinking
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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