hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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