did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
