We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
