I just cut my nipple shaving
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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