I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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