I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
