Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
