Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
