I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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