what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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