so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
