found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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