who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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