i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
That reminds me...we need to get swords
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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