So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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