i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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