i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
