dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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