So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
