I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
