Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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