you didnt know i had herpes?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
