how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
