never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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