i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
