Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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