I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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