after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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