You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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