Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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