She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
