I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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