So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
kristin has been a bad kristin
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
