i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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