I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
