is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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