I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
