They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
