did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
