were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
